Year: 2017

What is a soldier?

 Soldiers are heroes.

Jean M Twenge Ph.D., wrote about Army Staff Sergeant Salvatore Giunta and his experience during a battle: “In this job, I am only mediocre. I’m average. This was a situation that we were put into. I was just one brush stroke in that picture, and everyone else was one brush stroke in that picture. And while it wasn’t the first brushstroke of that picture, and it wasn’t the last brush stroke in that picture, and it wasn’t the best, it was just another brush stroke that helped complete this picture.”

Many would hold that soldiers are heroic and worthy of praise. It’s not difficult to see why. When people decide to join the army, they are making a conscious decision to leave their family and friends behind. They leave the comfort of their homes and go through rigorous, sometimes merciless, training sessions.

All for what? For their country, the nation, and the people who live in it. Once the training is done, they’re thrown into the heat of battle, where they risk their lives. They fight in the name of their country.

These men and women who sign up to fight in the army are making the ultimate sacrifice. Regardless of what side a soldier chooses, deciding to fight and possibly die for one’s country is a commendable act. It’s an act of putting others before oneself.

 

Soldiers choose to dedicate their lives to their country, despite many other, possibly more convenient, options. That is certainly something worthy of praise–something heroic.

Soldiers are monsters.

Others hold that these people are monstrous and should be loathed. Their entry into the army is a free pass to kill. One could even say it’s their special skill to kill on command. Indeed, soldiers can murder those they barely know. It’s in the job description, after all.

“There was an incident not long ago where a veteran had a violent outburst, and the media was all over it, talking about how folks with PTSD are violent,” Francine Roberts, PsyD told The Nation’s Health. “But the opposite is the truth. Veterans have no more potential for violence than anyone else.”

In the heat of battle, there are only those who are with you and those who are against you. One must simply protect the former and shoot the latter. Faces and names don’t matter.

What’s more, these people could be fighting for all the wrong reasons. True, they did give up a lot when they decided to enter the army. But what good would that be if they were fighting for the wrong?

Soldiers make themselves commodities–weapons that simply point and shoot. And there isn’t anything heroic about that.

Soldiers are humans.

We sometimes forget that these “heroes” or these “monsters” are just like us–humans.

Underneath all the badges and armor is a colleague, a comrade-in-arms, and a brave fighter. Behind the war paint and the rugged exterior is a parent, a sibling, and a son or daughter. Look past the stern expression, the battle scars, and the intimidating aura. Underneath all that is a human.

Humans can be heroes. They can choose to be altruistic and fight for the people of their country. They can choose to leave their lives behind for the sake of some greater good. And they can do things that are more than worthy of praise.

“I think there’s no substitute for people being able to number one, hear prestigious leaders talk about their own struggles with psychological injury. And the other thing is for them to see visibly that someone who has faced and gotten treatment for psychological injury continues to have a flourishing military career. I think the stigma is still a significant barrier in all of the military forces for officers and staff NCOs.” – Jonathan Shay, psychiatrist. 

Humans are also fallible, able to make mistakes, like anyone else. This, however, does not make them monsters. When they fight for the wrong reasons, it’s not always their fault. Sometimes the blame falls on the higher-ups whose hearts are no longer in the right place. Yes, death is in the job description, but as sad as it seems, bloodshed is an inevitable consequence of war. Moreover, these men and women do not simply devolve into mindless, trigger-happy puppets. Many still have a choice in the matter. Many still listen to their conscience.

Soldiers are humans too. We mustn’t forget that.

 

 

 

“It is better to give than to receive.” An old cliche we often encounter in donation boxes, panhandlers, and even our friends. However, we would like to highlight another famous quotation saying, “give a man a fish and he will live for a day, but teach the man how to fish and he will live for the rest of his life.” We believe that kindness is a trend that never goes out of style. It is also vital that we realize that in paying forward and spreading kindness, it is not only shown in dole out or almsgiving. It is very helpful to society and mankind to take charge and be on the giving end.

“It feels good to do something nice for someone. It boosts your self-esteem, it makes you feel like a better person, and it can help you overcome any negative feelings you are experiencing at the moment,” says licensed clinical psychologist, Sarah Schewitz, PsyD.

Ways to say “Thank You!”

Kindness and appreciation are not only shown in the form of gifts or money. A thank you can also be shown by giving time to another person and sharing talents or information. Another gesture of gratefulness is by helping others in whatever way possible, no matter how big or small that gesture is.

Saying thank you in the form of gifts and surprises.

When picking gifts for the significant people in our lives such as family, relatives, and friends, we should take into consideration the things that these people value. It does not mean that if we like bags or clothes, these people want to receive the same gifts as well. Some people are happy with quality time over a good conversation and a cup of coffee. We must take into consideration the kind of gifts that actually make them happy and not just assume what they will like according to our standards.

On the other hand, American philosopher and psychologist William James said, “The deepest principle of human nature is the craving to be appreciated. When you say thank you, you’re meeting that basic human need.”

Paying it forward by sharing your talents.

If you know how to play the guitar, maybe you can give free classes. Maybe you’re good at dancing or maybe you can organize a fundraising activity and give the proceeds to help send children to school. We are all created with unique characteristics that can make this world a better place.

Moreover, there are thank you therapy resources available online such as counseling and online therapy that can provide information and guidance regarding activities on how to show deep appreciation to others. May it be showing appreciation to the neighbor who lends a helping hand or a co-worker that helps you to get through a rough day. Participating in volunteer work can also be helpful. You can also contribute and allocate a portion of your income in stipends or give it to charitable institutions to aid their causes.

It means a lot..so try it today

It has been said that life is a cycle of give and take, withdraw and deposit or we reap what we sow. The more acts of kindness we do for other people doesn’t mean that we expect them to return or reciprocate it. “Research suggests that individuals who are grateful in their daily lives actually report fewer stress-related health symptoms, including headaches, gastrointestinal (stomach) issues, chest pain, muscle aches, and appetite problems,” says Sheela Raja, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist.

Sometimes, the law of karma has its own way of dealing with things. If you give bread, do not expect bread in return from that person. Sometimes, the gift comes back to you in a different form. It could be your wish being granted or things that are not tangible and visible to the eye. Therefore, never stop paying it forward. You’ll never know that the unkind person you touched today might pass the kindness on.

 

 

 

Have you ever wanted to thank a soldier but haven’t been sure how to say it? You are not alone. Right now, thousands of people want to thank soldiers for the hard work they do in protecting them but just aren’t sure what to say. It can be hard to know what soldiers regard as special thank-you gifts because what do you get a soldier to say thanks? Sometimes, something simple and well-meaning can be more precious than anything else.

Have You Ever Thought About A Care Package?

Soldiers in the field and those returning home after a long tour duty may like something as simple as a care package. Now, care packages can be wonderful and a simple thank-you for a soldier too. Soldiers always need little things when they’re out away from home, deployed overseas and this is your chance to offer them a little comfort of home. This is how you can thank a soldier and they really will appreciate it. In all honesty, it isn’t much but to a soldier, it means so much.

A Letter Can Mean So Much

American philosopher and psychologist William James said, “The deepest principle of human nature is the craving to be appreciated. When you say thank you, you’re meeting that basic human need.”

For many, they see a thank you note or letter as a crummy way to thank a soldier and yet it can be very memorable. Soldiers don’t want fancy cars or indeed their faces splashed across the internet, they are doing their job and sometimes a letter is what they want. Yes, it’s nothing too fancy, it’s a plain thing—a simple letter—but it’s the one thing that could actually spark something very personal inside. You can put down in words your feelings and thanks and you may find it’s easier to write than to say or express in gift form. Soldiers who receive letters or even a personal video message can be touched by that and it’s a “thanks” well appreciated. Get other info coming from here.

Raise Money for Military Charities

Have you thought about other ways in which you can thank a soldier? Remember, they are members of the armed forces and as such there are thousands of servicemen and women who require help after they leave the forces and when they are hurt. It could be a wise move to donate or look into raising money for a military charity. Allen R. McConnell, Ph.D. wrote, “Invest in others. Research by Dunn et al. shows that spending money on others, rather than on oneself, maximizes happiness. Their research shows that spending even small amounts of money ($5 or $20) on others makes people happier than spending the same amounts of money on oneself.”

There are many good charities that help soldiers and those recovering from injuries and are always in desperate need of finances. This could be your chance to give something back and offer a small token to the cause. It really can be a useful and very simple solution to consider and what better way to thank a soldier than to raise money for the military and their families? It’s a very special thank you to give.

Give Thanks

Soldiers put their lives on the line each and every day and their work makes a real difference to everyday life back home. Saying thanks can be an amazing way to give back something to say how much appreciated they are and thanks for the good work they do. However, thanking a soldier troubles most because they don’t know how to do it. The above are just a few ideas that may prove to be useful. Thank a soldier in your own way.

“I would like to send a clear message. In my view, regardless of a veteran’s era of service, branch of service, active or non-active status or deployment area of operation, etc., you should thank a veteran or service member for their service by specifically stating: “thank you for your service.” – Michael B. Brennan PsyD.

 

The military does so much for us. The armed forces are out on the front lines putting their lives on the line each and every day and it’s truly moving how they fight for their country and the safety of others. Sometimes, the armed forces are deployed overseas and protecting others throughout the world that have no one protecting them; it’s fantastic work and something no one should forget. Showing appreciation for the military is very important and something everyone should do.

What Is Military Appreciation Day?

You probably heard of the Military Appreciation Day but, if not, this is a day that is chosen to honor the work of the current service men and women globally. The event can also be used to help show appreciation to those who have also served their time in the forces. However, this is such a widely loved event simply because it is showing great appreciation to those who have put their lives on the line and it’s a wonderful event really.

How to Do Your Part

If you want to become involved you could look into volunteering for some local events. Volunteering can be an excellent way to give back to those who have served their country and there are many opportunities for you to look into.  “Engaging in some type of regular volunteer activity on at least a monthly basis, or just spending more time doing loving, kind things for the people in your life, helps get you out of your own head, creates well-being for others, and makes you feel good about yourself,” according to Jennice Vilhauer Ph.D. However, if you aren’t able to volunteer on Military Appreciation Day you could still volunteer at a charitable organization that helps former soldiers and military service personnel. This would really be a nice thing to do and in all honesty, a lot of charities need some help as they don’t often get the funds they need. Doing your part can really be a good way to say thanks and to show your appreciation.

Offering a Care Package or Donation to Charity Can Be Good

Sometimes, it’s not easy to know how to show your appreciation and, for some, volunteering doesn’t become an option for them but there are still many good ways to show your appreciation this year. For example, you could arrange for a nice care package to be sent to a current service person of the armed forces. There are certain organizations that arrange care packages for soldiers overseas and this would be something that offers a little reminder of home. It also shows you care and it’s something that really is appreciated. What’s more, a small donation to charity for armed personnel can be great too. Every little helps when it comes to the armed forces and your contribution might not be big financially but it is big in many other ways. Also, it’s appreciated by all. “Gratitude encourages us to joy, tranquillity, awareness, enthusiasm, and empathy while removing us from anxiety, sadness, loneliness, regret, and envy, with which it is fundamentally incompatible,” according to Neel Burton M.D. See it from here.

Show Appreciation in Your Own Way

If you have a personal way to show your appreciation to the military, why not do it as it will mean so much to so many? In truth, military appreciation doesn’t always have to come in the form of money or care packages but rather a letter of thanks or just turning up to support a military parade. Any little show of appreciation is wanted and needed. What’s more, it is very much appreciated. Show your appreciation today. 

“Go out and express your gratitude to one unsuspecting person this week. Don’t worry about getting it perfect, a simple “You’re awesome” is better than saying nothing at all,” suggests Amie M. Gordon, Ph.D.

 

 

 

 

Why is it important to say thank you?

The question may be off to you. Or you might think, where is this leading to? Simple. I’m just asking why do we need to say thank you? Does it matter much? Let’s examine some important discussions.

“What? No thank you?!”

Over a month ago, I was chatting with this lady online and we were trading stories about hobbies and collections. I openly shared that I am a collector of Starbucks City Mugs. She also claimed the same thing. Gaining affinity to her, I decided to send her three City Mugs that I have as double pieces and no longer need anyway.

I was hoping to hear back from her online stating that she received the package, but to my dismay, I never got one. I sent her emails following up and checking up on her to see if maybe she got sick or god-knows-what happened to her. But really, I did not receive an acknowledgment nor a thank you note from her. What would you feel if you were in my situation? According to  Amie M. Gordon, Ph.D., “This is true of sharing gratitude in so many areas of our lives—we rarely take the time to meaningfully thank people who make a difference in our lives, big or small, because we don’t realize the impact it will have on them.”

 

Well, maybe you will blame me for trusting a person I only met online and sent out a package to her instantly, so this just suits me. Nonetheless, the point of the matter here is the good manner of showing appreciation to the deed. Just by saying “Thank you,” it can really go a long way. “During a moment of offering kindness, there’s a certain kind of connection that can happen, especially if the other person receives it graciously,” according to John Amodeo Ph.D., MFT.

Powerful words

“Thank you” are powerful words that can move us to do more positive things or simply increase our self-esteem. When somebody says ‘thank you’ to you for a simple act that you did for them, the feeling of being appreciated and that sense of importance is overwhelming.

In the corporate world, being recognized for your hard work is seldom shown. Maybe because the big bosses do not want to be intimidated by your pro-activity or smartness in your work. Sadly, this culture still continues to exist. Employees sometimes find it disheartening that their best work is not taken seriously. Under-appreciation is mostly the name of the game. By this, productiveness and the success of employees sometimes suffer along with it.

Psychologists and thank you therapy experts support the idea that by saying ‘thank you’ to a person, the dramatic change of motivating and inspiring to do more good things are significant. In children, we can easily detect or see in their behavior that there is increased self-confidence. However, it’s quite difficult to see this in adults. Nonetheless, we are already creating a positive psychological drive to do more prosocial behavior in the future.

 

It was Veteran’s Day and I had the honor of accompanying my father to their annual party. I couldn’t help but feel excited because I’ve always looked up to the men in uniform for serving the country at the expense of their families. I can’t imagine my son leaving me to serve the country, which means going to war should be one of the things that he’s prepared to do. But despite my worries for the near future, I have vowed to never stop him from choosing to join the forces. Besides, he has his grandfather’s genes – the blood of the courageous and patriotic.

When we arrived, we were met by our friends and their families, and I greeted them and expressed my happiness that they were finally home and with their spouses and children. Deep inside, I thanked God that they survived combat. Not everyone does. I saw a group of youngsters in one corner. I heard one of them approach one housewife, Melissa, and asked her if she could be interviewed. Melissa was surprised and she said, “Why me? My husband’s around. I’ll introduce you to him.”

But the youngster said, “No, we’re really here for you and for the rest of the military wives who are here. We want the world to know that you deserve a thank you, for all you’ve done.” I managed to smile and hide the tear falling from my cheek. It was so touching. I realized that these housewives do have important roles for the greater good of the country.

I listened in and the young lady asked Melissa, “So tell us about a day in your household when your husband comes home. What’s the feeling?”

“Well,” Melissa said, “Of course the first day is just bliss. Nothing beats the feeling of seeing your husband at the door, alive. And when the kids see him and hug and kiss him, it’s just a miracle. I cook my special and we enjoy every moment we have together.”

Then one of their other members went in front and announced that she wanted to say something. She said she just wanted to thank the women behind the military man, the light of the military house, for keeping the family together. Everybody agreed and cheered loudly. Then she read the rest of the gratitude list. According to Mark Travers Ph.D., “Studies have shown a positive association between expressions of gratitude and emotional well-being.”

Thank you for:

1. Being both Mom and Dad to the kids when the husband leaves home to work. She has to be responsible for taking care of the home and keeping it peaceful. Most importantly, she is tasked to tell her kids good stories of their dads and how they are out there to defend our country.
2. Giving up the things she loves doing for herself so that the others can do what they have to do. Some of them are bank executives, professors, and teachers and sometimes they are not given the choice not to give it up. They have to. That’s sacrifice and for them and it’s worth it.

• Learning the latest ways of communicating so that family can communicate. She keeps herself up to date with Skype and other video conferencing software to support her husband from afar. Sometimes she attempts to be a therapist to encourage her husband to keep the faith. She applies what she has learned from other resources that help deal with depression and anxiety.

• Preparing the best meals. Military wives become domesticated, although not by choice for some, they’d get used to it in time. Her pancakes just don’t taste the same and her baked turkey is heavenly, just perfect for her hero to enjoy when he gets home.

• The times that she wanted to give up and raise the white flag, but she didn’t. She just goes on and on and tries her best to be strong for her children. She cries only when she is alone or with her closest friends. When she arrives home, she smiles and feeds her children with love and hope.

I went home that night feeling nostalgic, inspired and grateful. I realized that military wives aren’t always acknowledged for being the persons behind the strength of their husbands – the wind beneath their wings. And though they don’t often hear the thank yous, they don’t mind, because they know that the country needs them as much as they need their husbands.